Mark Garry where are you?

I saw your facebook page.  Interesting, progressive, but not enough of the real you depicted. I miss you. . . you need to call me.

Inspiration. . .

I haven't had cause to write anything provocative or otherwise interesting for some time.  I am just soaking up life's experiences like a sponge, attempting to feel each moment as it comes and being satisfied with simple things.  I am growing.  Growing my big fat beautiful brain and soul too. I am caught up in my own introspections and learning a great deal in class daily.  However, my brain has not processed and categorized all of the intellectual data and sensory experiences yet.  I am absorbing life, but I will blog about it, whatever that happens to be, when I am inspired to do so. Stay tuned. . .

Someone Like You

Michele told me there was really good free live music to be had in Kerrville. I know, Kerville??!!.  So Saturday night I joined her to check it out. The venue, a smokey, tiny dive bar called "Back Porch".  Michele and I brought a bottle of Malbec  and we found a less smokey area near the stage to take in some yummy riffs.  I was wowed!  The band "Someone Like You" sounds like Jason Mraz or John Mayer but entirely original. Very bluesy with rock and jazz mixed in.  The lead guitarist is John, guitar and vocals, Josh Murley, and Chris on base. I did not meet the drummer but I have it on good authority that his name is Patrick. Josh writes his own stuff too. I always prefer singer/songwriters.  I'm such a snob! These guys rock! What a lucky find! But with this talent and personality galore, they won't be here for long! 

I miss Tracy White Today!!!!!!!!!

Texas is Now One of the Most Balanced Political States

Democratic Gains Make Texas One of the Most Balanced States.  See LoneStarProject.net for more details.  

"A recent Gallop Survey report confirms that Texas is no longer a solid Republican state. In fact, it lists Texas as among "the most balanced political States" in party identification.  Gallop conducted over 19,000 surveys in Texas during 2008 as part of its Gallop Daily tracking polls. The surveys show that Democrats in Texas now have a slight advantage in party identification, 43% to 41%, a clear reversal from recent past. 

Disappointed. . .

I am very disappointed in the Dems (not all but too many) in the House and Senate.  The Republican's have some good ideas too. The Dems are not making much of an effort to create an atmosphere for compromise. I'm sure the Republican's did the same thing to them during the first 6 years of Bush 43's time in office. But, this is no time for schoolyard antics! We have 4.8 million people out of work!  In my view, during the debate next week in the Senate, each spending item should be put the these two questions: 1. Will it create jobs? (both in government and private sector); 2. Will it save money within a reasonable about of time? The Dems should defend their spending preferences regardless of the fact that they have the numbers.  If it is determined "yes" to both questions, leave it in.  If not, take it out.  Other bills can be drafted for the other pet projects.  I don't think that pet projects are a bad thing, I just think they don't belong in a "stimulus package".  

I am also disappointed in the Republicans.  Haven't we learned that tax cuts alone won't repair the roads, or put people to work, or fix the problems in the schools?  It sounds like a great idea on the surface but it has not been sufficient.  It's time to to listen to other options, and economists suggests a stimulus. Immediately.  

I checked out Obama's goals for the package, which his economists, some independent and some advisors to Republicans,  have recommended.  It's pretty straight forward.  It makes sense. The Dems created a 600 page bill out of this.  I'm not sure that all of it should be there. Perhaps this bill isn't exactly "good faith" in my book. Broadly speaking, "It is the right size, scope and has the right priorities to create 3-4 million jobs, fixing schools, modernizing health care, fix infrastructure, and move towards energy independence". Let's pray that our public servants get out of their own way and do the admirable thing and get the stimulus program done!

If the Dems handle things in a more  straight forward manner and the Republicans still won't vote for the bill, then the American people will know which party are the trouble makers.  For now, I am inclined to believe it is both parties.  I wish they would take a page out of Obama's rule book and show respect, look for common ground, and learn how to disagree without being disagreeable. We have 4.8 million out of jobs!  It's time to act.  If they get bogged down and drag their feet, it could get worse.  

An auspicious coincidence. . .

Three days ago, I wrote our President (I just love saying that) a quick note on whitehouse.gov.  I was concerned about Citigroup's acquisition of a $50m jet, after having asked the tax payers for a bailout.  I asked him to address this immoral and disgraceful waste of our tax dollars.  Well, 24 hours later, he had Geithner call Citigroup and they did not take possession of jet.  Then 24 hours later, he made a statement wherein he called high level corporate bonuses "shameful" and "the height of irresponsibility.  I know, my email probably had nothing to do with his speaking out.  That is just the way he rolls.  

Hooray!!!!

I just have to say: The world needs more Lily Ledbetters. Personally, she will not recover what she lost, but she brought us closer to the reality of equal pay. 

My First Power Point Presentation

If you can believe it, I have never had the occasion to learn to use the program until now.  I just finished a project for my Aesthetic Experience class.  I thought about bringing in my sculpture that Sandy gave me, that I really love but did not feel like I was knowledgeable enough about its origin or creation.  I decided on Klimt, of course.  What fun!  

On Feminism

Many people may be shocked by this statement: "I do not consider myself a feminist."  I consider myself a decent, capable, well-intentioned person. . . who happens to be a woman. Ladies, in our quest for equality in all facets of life, perhaps we missed something.  The Feminist movement has done some damage to us and to our male counterparts.  We've been a little overzealous, perhaps. I wish that we could have done a better job in appreciating those men who did their best to hear us and respect us as we  fought to "come a long way, baby". 

In the U.S.,  it is still very true that the glass ceiling still exists, equal pay is not yet a reality, medical progress has been ridiculously slow on women's health issues. It took us too damn long to get the vote, many still believe we are the lesser sex and that we are not capable of a higher level of logical reasoning as men are. Women throughout time that have contributed to art, literary works, science, higher thought have been ignored and left out of those respective clubs.  The playing field is not yet level.  I agree that we have been marginalized, ignored.  But I believe that there have been and there are men out there who realize this, and respect our minds and accomplishments. 

Do the above injustices give women the right to exploit men? I know women who have used their sexual currency to manipulate men.  Women have been guilty of tearing down another woman for their success or happiness.  Aren't these things just as ugly?  Should Hillary Clinton have won the presidency?  Some say yes because women are owed that.  I say that that notion is sexist.  Success or opportunity should be based on merit, not gender.  

As women, I think we should come together and support each other.  Be happy for each others successes and share the joy that womanhood has to offer us.  Act as though we respect our femaleness. Let's not live up to the bitch stereotype.  We know how to ask for what we want assertively, without pouting, without manipulations, and without anger, don't we? We can be our best selves while encouraging the best in men, can't we?  We need to stop feeling marginalized and invisible.  We can respectfully disagree. Articulate our brilliant thoughts.  There will be no battle of the sexes if we are not battling.  For me, I have learned that there is no need to battle.  Men who like strong women will let me know by furthering the conversation.  Men who are not interested in having a conversation with an articulate woman will fade into the scenery.  It has always been my skills that have gotten me raises in the workplace, not my pretty face.  

The simple truth is, when women have progressed, men have too.  If we as a people are going to get to the next level of "goodness", we will get there together.  

Personally, I think we have had a punishing attitude for far too long. We've had good reasons yet we do not. We change the rules of relating about every five years or so.  Chivalry was good, then it wasn't, now it is again, for some.  Condescension is sometimes mistaken for compassion. If we could, men and women, look beyond the game we play and its complicated ever changing rules, and the facades we painstakingly create for the other sex. . . to the real intentions, we would be so much further along this path.  So the next time a man opens the door for you, graciously thank him.  And if you get the chance, thank his mama, too. 

Deep down isn't everyone basically shallow?

For most of my adult life I have considered myself to be a really deep person.  But, isn't "putting on heirs" in reference to my own depth just me being self important?  And isn't that pretty shallow?  Don't we all have a vice?  Who doesn't engage in some form of naughty/guilty pleasure? Whether it be chocolate, alcohol, gossip, another slice of pizza (over-eating), complaining,  marijuana, trashy novels, judging our fellow church goers or anyone else, shopping for things we don't need, a lap dance, mocha with an extra shot of espresso, late night cable TV, blaming the other political party for our nations problems, bible bashing, diet coke, giving unwanted advice, refusing to view all sides of an issue, feeling superior to another because of race, gender or any other reason, playing the martyr, or otherwise using anything or anyone to avoid personal responsibility or allowing any behavior to become a compulsion.  . . (whew!)

But alas, we all put value judgments on the above vices. Some are okay and others are not.  For one over-eating is alright but marijuana is a big no-no.  For another, judging others is okay even though Jesus taught us not to, but drinking wine is totally not okay, even though Jesus did in moderation. We judge harshly those that we perceive as having vices but don't see our own. Or we justify ours because it's "not that bad". 

 I think we miss some goodness in life and others when we focus on the thick of thin things. And if we are doing all we think we are supposed to do, we think we have the right to judge another as not doing enough.  And in that judgment, we miss the point completely. 

Let's face it.  We, all of us, to a degree are shallow and succumb to human limitations and hungers. I have actually been surprised and let down in my life to learn of a loved one's bigotry and small mindedness.  There is a lesson for me to learn here. People don't belong on pedestals. Pedestals are for the representation of an ideal. So. . . let's first train ourselves to look upon others with Christ-like compassion and acceptance for we all can be selfish and weak and shallow, and we can all be brilliant and kind and well intentioned.  I'll be first, I am capable of great depth but not above the shallow.

2008 look back-A Mixed Bag.

I will attempt to delineate here the 10 best and worst experiences of 2008 for me, personally.

First, the worst: 

1.   The moves. I moved 3 times in 6 months. I read somewhere that moving was one of the most stressful experiences.

2.   The most painful and destructive relationship of my life happened in 2008. Of course, a result of a series of bad choices on my part got the thing rolling. I had never before been treated with so little respect. But its DEMISE can be said to be one of the BEST things that happened in 2008 too, depending on how you view it.  So, here lies Capt. Parasite. Rest In Peace.

3.   I allowed my biological mother in my life after a 10 year absence for a very brief year.  In the end, I learned for good what I always knew, that I mean nothing to her. Her only interest was to manipulate me into spending my resources to keep her from dealing with the horror that has become her life. It has been painful to accept in some ways but very liberating too to learn that I did my part to heal our relationship, and consequently I feel NO remorse for choosing to sever all ties, as if she had been someone who cared for my well-being. In the end, I chose me, my education, my peace, my sanity and to value my needs. . . And in the end I chose not to be codependent. And that is a very very good thing, a "skip through the meadow" kind of good.  So. . .here also lies Leslie too, I wish her well and a final farewell. Rest In Peace. 

4.  I left a job that I loved and a boss that I love even more. 

5.   Moving was hard also because of all of the friends and family that I miss and don't get to see and talk too often enough. 

6.  Moving has left me feeling isolated occasionally, but not very often as I enjoy spending quality time with myself. 

7.  Okay,  I honestly can not think of anything else that was bad in 2008.

Now the best stuff of 2008:

1.    As I wrote above, ending the connection with Capt. Parasite.

2.   As I wrote above, severing all ties with Leslie.

3.    Going back to school.  My college experience last semester was every bit as wonderful as I had hoped it would be.  I thoroughly enjoy learning, the classroom experience, the interesting material, the environment of campus life, all of it. . . wonderful.

4.    This blog.  It has been a great experience for me. I am grateful for those that check on my comings and goings so that we can remain connected.

5.    The many conversations that I have had with Kami. I cherish her.

6.    The uplifting talks that Jeannine and I have shared. She was there to kick my butt when I needed it. 

7.     The new friends I have made here in Kerrville: Amy (pretty lil' five-foot nothin', good hearted, compassionate, and smart.  Believes that the simple life is where its at!; Linda (patient and kind mother, sweet Southern talkin' beauty); Carey (smart, lover of Taco Casa tacos, witty, Lord lovin' cutie); Fred (chivalrous, debonaire, VeeP, cufflink wearin' Obama fanatic); Amie (romantic, thoughtful mother, coffee addict, history lovin', metaphor writin', babe); Tracy (more real than real, kindred spirit, open-minded, law studyin', light in the loafers, Obamanite).  

8.    Alex, my little, and my time with him.  And his little sister, Lilianna.  Very sweet and special children. 

9.    The three months I spent staying with Peter before the move. It was nice hanging out and having dinner and all of our talks about life, school, Obama, family, and how nicely we worked out.

10.     The election!  I feel that our electing Barack Obama has elevated us as a people.  We are starting to get past the notion that a race, gender, or class is more entitled (to opportunities, freedom, and a healthy life) than another.  Barack Obama ran a campaign with intelligence and dignity and he deserved to win. I am grateful for any part that I took in it. It feels like a movement.  It feels like we as a nation are moving . . . forward to a better place.  

My last night in Vegas

I had so much fun on this trip that I had to just end it in a more relaxed manner.  I had dinner with Cathy (but we forgot to take a picture) and then the last night with Lea (picture attached)  at one of my favorite places, Baba Reeba (tapas).  I was introduced to a new favorite red, Grotto Shiraz from Australia, very smooth with a hint of dark chocolate. Truly, visiting Vegas is a lot more fun than living there!  See you in the summer, my friends.

New Years' Eve

I made my way to Tami and Paula's place around 8:00. We had some champagne and chocolate covered strawberries. We took some photos and made our way to Jay and Stacie's house for their little soiree. At 11:30 the three of us and Jay and Stacie went to Red Rock Hotel and found a spot at the downstairs circle bar where we celebrated the new year. Jay kissed all of us girls (lucky dawg) and the bartenders handed out free champagne.  We took these super hot pics there.  We finally got back to Tami's at 3:30.  I had so much fun!  We partied like rockstars! 

Night out with Jason Markle and his friend, Liz

We went to Aliante Station to see Yellow Brick Road, an 80's Rock cover band.  They were very good. The lead singer had lots of personality.  We danced to Jesse's Girl and Pour Some Sugar on Me.  I love live music!!!!!! That is something Daddy gave me.  Sloan would have really liked this night. He is getting to be a pretty good guitar player. 

I really enjoyed meeting Liz and her husband.  They were really nice and fun.  Thanks Jay for introducing us.  Miss you man!

Jeannine Abel and Me

Jeannine and I spent an entire day together cooking, playing games and just being.  I love her to death.  We are seeking the same degree. She wants to work in addiction recovery.  Kudos to her!  She has more compassion than me.  Jeannine is a wonderful cook, wonderful friend, and her son Skylar is so damn cool, I want to kidnap him!  I must add here that this picture is utterly horrible, but until another kinder picture exists, this one goes up.

Peter and Mike Bellon

Peter and Mike had a long standing Christmas Eve (boys' night) planned.  Since I was in town, they invited me along.  We saw a flick and went to T-Bones for some champagne, crab, steak, and a chocolate dessert. These boys know how to celebrate! Of course we saw some friends, Tom Rojas and his super sweet and pretty long time girlfriend, Allison. It's always fun hangin' with these guys. Chivalry and Class, all the way!

Christmas Holiday Trip to Las Vegas - Part 2

These three pics are from the Jolley Christmas Program 2008.  I love being a part of this wonderful "jolley" family!

Picture 1: MacKay's singing hymn for program. Left to Right: Davis, Kevin, Jesse, Lisa, Dawn, Sid, Jason, Shawna and Shannon with baby Mylie.

Picture 2: Me and Drew (cousin) with baby Mylie, Sharie's daughter.

Picture 3: Jennifer, Me and Melissa (Vance's wife and Max's mom).

Picture 4: Andrew, with Vance's boy Max, Vance (in the Christmas tree shirt, hilarious!), Erin, Amanda and Me.

Picture: 5: Me and Erin (second cousin).

It was a Jolley-Good-Time!!!!!

Christmas Holiday Trip to Las Vegas - Part 1

Kristalle Herda invited me over for Christmas dinner with her family.  The Herda family is wonderful. So warm and accepting. I enjoyed that evening so much.  We drank wine and played games and laughed at each other and ourselves till well past midnight. I hope to be invited next year!  

Spring 2009 Line-up

College Algebra.  I hear Jimenez is a really good instructor. Of course, no one could ever hold a candle to Dr. Sliva!! 

Aesthetic Experience.  Prof. Harris, I understand, is a real Renaissance Man. He writes plays, fiction, music, can play an instrument.  I am not sure exactly what one studies in this class. Beauty?  What are commonly held notions and elements of things that are beautiful? It is an interdisciplinary studies class, one that is unique to Schreiner. 

World Literature from the Renaissance Period to Present.  I understand Hannay is the best professor that teaches this class.  I guess I will be reading and writing and writing about what I read.  Sounds like FUN to me.  

Cognitive Psychology. (The study of how we learn).  I believe this will be helpful in many ways.  Prof. Biel, the professor I had for Health Psychology will be my professor.  He is one of my faves.

Psychology of Personality: Research Approaches.  In this class we will study personality traits.  This I am sure will be very interesting to me. And I really dig the professor.

Politics and the Media. I have no need to take this class at all. I do not need it for my major and I have 102 elective hours already.  I just feel a need to learn about this subject.  I want to understand how the media spins the information and how to get to the reality behind the spin, if that is possible. The professor, as I understand it, is a diehard republican.  Now this should be interesting.  I fully intend to "stir it up" in this class.  Not to worry. I will collect no grade so I won't feel the need to feign agreement with the professors views.

Shawn's Movie Reviews. . . Arrogant, aren't I?

Hello All:

One of my favorite things to do when I need a little "brain candy" break from studying is to view a film at the nearby movie theatre. I live literally 2 minutes away. A matinee is only $5.00. So I thought I would keep track of the films I see and add a little blurb about it. This entry will be kept up to date.

April 2009

State of Play. B. I've been interested in political thrillers lately, it seems.  Guess I'll just go with it.  This film is about a journalist and Congressman that have been friends since college.  The journalist happens upon a story of murder with a big scoop of political ambition, hence the involvement of the Congressman.  Some fun twists and turns.  Enjoyable. Russell Crow was solid. Ben Affleck was very Ben Affleck.  

January 2009: 

Charlie Wilson's War. A-. If politics and true stories can be taken together, we have Charlie Wilson's War.  I recommend watching it. Very witty and intellectual.  Charlie Wilson, a flawed, "good time charlie" Texas Congressman, having been cajoled into helping Afghanistan win their war against Russia by a wealthy, politically savvy and socially passionate woman. . . .and remarkably close to the real story.  This is another argument for finishing what we started in Afghanistan.  

Rachel's Wedding. C+.  If you tend to get motion sickness, you may want to reconsider watching this film.  You will leave with a serious headache wondering if it was really worth it. It is supposed to have the documentary style of filming, replete with its too quick panoramic views, blurred in and out focusing, and close ups that are way too close or too far away from the subjects. Yeah, I get it. It is supposed to be a really realistic depiction, right? The story: Anne Hatheway is a very troubled girl coming home from rehab for her sister's wedding. She's been grieving for months now, half tortured, half belligerent, and thinks like an addict. . . but her intentions are well-meaning. There is a wedding party with a Caucasian woman, African American man and hindu spiritualism (who knows where that comes from?).  Lots of artists, musicians and dancers in the mix but one has to wonder: Did anyone remember to edit this film? 

December 2008. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. A-.  Brad Pitt is Benjamin. An aging 50 something is still pretty hot, even to a 30 something!  So Robert Redford(esque). Yummy!  For completely separate reasons, I really liked this film. A man born elderly and grows to his peak backwards and ages to infancy. Even though Benjamin Button's life is done in reverse, he learns basically the same things: That timing is key. . . That real love doesn't die but changes form. . . That feelings of inadequacy, which we all feel, can rob us the joy of fully inhabiting our lives.  . . And if we live long enough,  we all end the same way, utterly dependent. 

December 2008. Bolt. B+. I saw this with my Little Brother Alex. He and I loved it! Great message for kids. That unconditional acceptance and love is better than anything else anyone can give you. And. . .belief in yourself can have almost unlimited power for good.

December 2008. Seven Pounds. B+. I can't go into plot. It's one of those films that you don't want to ruin by discussing any part of it. I will say this: I had to watch Will Smith suffer for a very long time before I was allowed to understand why.  That was hard to watch. I'll never see it again. But I am glad I saw it. I believe the film has something worthwhile to say.

November 2008. Twilight. C+. I love vampires. I couldn't resist. Something about the notion of living through generations of time . . . and the utter loneliness that comes from living that long. . .and the intimacy or at least perceived intimacy between vampire and prey. Dark, macabre, isn't it?  A guilty pleasure of mine.  At any rate, this film was more about teenage angst than about vampires. It was decent for what it was. Entertaining. All of the actors were beautiful.  The actress playing Belle was not very effective. What was particularly annoying about the plot was that a pretty and smart teenage girl loved by both parents, liked by all at school, and possessed the freedom to do as she pleased, couldn't seem to see anything positive about her life. Is that the way normal teenagers feel?  I really just don't get it. But hey, maybe that's just me.

A Vegas Girl's Dance Club Etiquette Lesson

1. If you feel the need to dress slutty, then be sure to dance demurely. . .If you tend to dance in a sexy/sultry manner, be sure to dress modestly.

2. If you want a dance partner (or someone nearby sharing the dancefloor) to come closer, then while dancing raise your arms above your head. If you want people to let you have your space, then while dancing subtly place your hands at shoulder length with elbows out or hands in front of your chest, palms out.

3. Always leave with the person you came with unless he or she is drunk and stupid.

4. If the person you came with dances more than two songs consecutively with another person, dance with everyone, enjoy yourself, catch a cab and delete his phone number from your cell phone.

14 Day Yearly Cleanse for Disease Free Life

I have brought 3 ideas together for a yearly cleanse. I have done all three in the past but this year I am going to do them together and extend the cleanse to 14 days. The result will likely be a reduction in fat weight of at least 8 lbs and a cleansing of the colon, kidneys, and skin. When these organs are cleansed of build up waste products, the bodies chances of many kinds of cancers and heart disease are greatly reduced. During the cleanse you can work out normally so long as you drink lemonaid often throughout the day. The following is very safe and healthy.

Lemonaid: one 12 oz bottle of water with 2 oz. poured out. Add two tbsp +/- lemon juice, and 2 tbsp +/- grade B dark maple syrup. Drink at least 5 per day for 14 days. A tiny pinch of cheyenne pepper, if you can stand it helps a great deal with the cleanse. If you can't then take that pinch with a little water sometime during the day. Take two Spurilina (brain food) in the morning. For the entire cleanse drink cleansing/slimming tea every night.

For the first 7 days, eat raw fruit in the morning with nothing else but lemonaid. For lunch, eat raw vegetables or vegetable soup and more lemonaid. For dinner, vegetables again with lemonaid. If you are hungry, drink more lemonaid. There is nutrition in the maple syrup.

For day 8, and 9 only drink the lemonaid. Add 4 more bottles. Take spurilina.

Day 10, 11, 12, 13 Eat the fruit, vegetables and 4 bottles of lemonaid, but add a serving of the following two times per day: 1/4 cup any kind of yogurt (grind the following first in a cofee grinder) 3 tbsp. flaxseeds, 2 tbsp. wheat bran, 1 tbsp. rice bran).

On the last day drink various fruit juices including orange and cranberry, lemonaid and vegetable soup. One the first day after the cleanse, don't over do dairy products or meat.

When I arrive back in Kerrville I am going to begin my cleanse. I'll post my progress and hopefully I will reduce as I predict. If anyone decides to try it, please feel free to post your comments! Here's to your health!

What does a BETTER LIFE mean to me. . .

Everyone wants a "better life". We all want to be safe, comfortable, anxiety free, and pain free. We want to be happy, right? What does that mean? I used to think that meant to "fulfill my potential as a child of God", that if I was doing those things that others told me would make me happy, I would find that place. I did not find it in the Mormon church (but this is not to say that I am not grateful for the religious education and wonderful friendships made therein); I did not find it in a fancy dinner with a glass of Chateau Latour or the 18 minute Roys Chocolate souffle with two scoops of ice-cream. I did not find it in an overly generous husband (although his friendship is the most dear of my life). I did not find it when I allowed myself to be the lighthouse for what I believed to be a very sad and broken man. I did not find it when I was "faking it to make it", nor when I told everyone that I didn't care what they thought. I did not find it in the counselor's chair; I did not find it when I gave my mother another undeserved chance to be in my life. I did not find it when I was telling other people what to do so they could find it. I did not find it in books (although many of them helped me to grow and learn) and I did not find it in keeping the commandments as I was told I would (although I am sure I have fewer regrets because of those efforts). I am not sure that I would have known what happiness was when or if I ever found it because I didn't know what it really looked like/felt like. And doesn't it mean different things to different people? What about love? I am good at loving plutonically. When it comes to romantic love though, that elludes me. I don't know if I really know how to love someone romantically with courage and unconditional compassion and positive regard. Historically, I have lost myself in the caretaking of others. Mostly, I have chosen poorly so I have decided, for now, I am not going to allow myself any romantic attachments until further notice. I have learned that happiness isn't found in another person either.

I just finished reading Sidney Pointier's autobiography. In this book he asks: "What does it mean to you to have a better life, not your neighbor, or your business partner's definition, but yours? I have been thinking about his question for many days now. I think I am ready to define it for myself. You, poor reader, are an innocent bystander to my ramblings. Please forgive all of this candor. . .This is today's contribution to the process of growth and learning that I find myself in. Not the sum total of my values or the end of my ramblings. So here is my list of what I think a better life would include for me:
1. Reach my education potential: For me, this means a PsyD in Pschology.
2. Excel in a profession that helps people.
3. Make my heart judgment free.
4. Have healthy boundaries.
5. Live honestly and speak the truth with love.
6. Give a child the love, life and coping skills, and values I was not given.
7. Have the courage to defend MY values.
8. Have enough discomfort so I won't become complacent.
9. Keep my hope in humanity alive so I never give up on others.
10. Freedom from debt, except a mortgage.
11. Acheive MY idea of physical fitness.
12. Never allow fear of personal failure to daunt me.
13. Never allow success to seduce me into inaction.
14. Continually challenge myself to grow.
15. To acheive self-actualization (as Maslow describes it) before I die.
I started this entry thinking that perhaps I would be able to think of 10 elements to describe, but find I want more for myself than I originally thought.

Final Grades for Semester 1, 3 semesters to go!

Exercise Science -

(A lot more work than you think. I got some As and some Bs on quizzes and exams.  I may get an A for the class but it will be close. I took the final today. Should know by tomorrow the final grade.)

EXSI course grade: A (whew! That was close!)

Math 0303- Final grade - B

But I want an A anyway.  I have set aside 2 full days to study and a high school student to tutor me on Sunday afternoon.) Turned out the high school student could not help me out so I did not get an A on the final exam. 

Theories of Personality - A

The instructor's policy is to drop the lowest exam grade. Since all of mine have been As. I don't have to take the final and have an A for the class.)

Health Psychology- Take Home Final Due Monday. Final Grade A

(I have gotten all As so far.  No reason why the final should be any different. Update: I just got the take home essays. The last question requires me to justify my A! All that legal persuasive writing will come in handy here!)

Critical Thinking- B for the course

(This class has given me fits, even though it is one of my favorites. Crazy huh?  Dr. F. is great!  I dig him.  But his tests are %&$#@! hard and a lot of the material can be easily confused. I have gotten Bs on tests.  Wish I could get inside his brain and sift through his filing cabinet. But alas! Since no one got an A on the last test, and much to his chagrin, Dr. F.  has reluctantly given us the opportunity to correct our last test for additional points. I may earn an A on the final. I have set aside an entire day to study and a study session Thursday night with Tracy W. Material is limited. Test is this Friday. I'm worried about this one. Wish me luck!)

Christian Theology- Final Next Wednesday. Final Grade A.

(This class is one of my favorites.  I have enjoyed it tremendously. I have received all As on all tests and all As on all papers so I anticipate the last test will be similar. I foresee an A for the class.) 

I shall know all of the above grades by December 19th, so check out this entry then. I am so grateful that this semester I have been lucky in having only one final exam each day! 

Cumulative GPA: 3.7

Hey! Tracy White!

What a compelling human you are!  I just wanted to say that I enjoy my time with you.  Always a deep discussion to be had when you are around!  Looking forward to our "poly-sci" class next semester.  "Get thee a blog!"

Postscript on Dec. 18th: Tracy's blog can be seen at: trwhitesnotebook.blogspot.com.  He is a great person and brilliant!!!  But, due to lodging difficulties, Tracy decided to finish up his BA at UT Tyler. "Bye Man. Don't forget to come visit me." 

I'm dreaming of a Vegas Christmas. . .

Uh, huh. I know that's right, Suga!  Peter has graciously offered to bring me home for the Holidays to give me a break from my studies (sort of) and treat me to his good company and that of beloved friends and family. Woop woop! I'll be in Vegas from December 22nd until January 4th, so . . . be sure to clear some time on your busy holiday calendars for a little scoop of Shawn    . . . Miss Jolley if you're nasty!

Finally

Today, for the first time since Election Day, I was able to think about Barack's victory without my eyes welling up with tears. I am such a freak!

A crazy day!

Yesterday I had the most hellish day since the semester started.  I had two exams and an oral presentation due. I was fueled by adrenaline all day long. My oral presentation consisted of a skit. The scene: Sigmund Freud and Rollo May meeting for coffee to discuss a client in common. I played Rollo May, the first American Existential Psychoanalyst and my partner, Candice played the part of Sigmund Freud. We psychoanalyzed our client and made fun of each other's theories. Sigmund blew a bubble pipe while I tried to explain my over the top explanation about human despair. It was fun.  I saw my professor sitting in a student desk at the back of the classroom laughing at all the jokes and having a good time.  Whew!  Glad it is over though. 

Tonight I study math again. . .solving systems of equations. It never ends. :-)

Isolation

Wow, I feel really alone lately.  For as polite as people are here in Kerrville, I haven't found a lot of acceptance.  I am starting to think that the stereotype of a "Vegas Girl" has followed me here. Funny, in Vegas I was too "down to earth". I am still trying to figure this out in my mind. Perhaps it really doesn't matter anyway. It's not as though I would change to increase my social life. Really, it's just this moment. It will pass. I'm sure I'll feel differently tomorrow. 

YES, WE DID!

At 1:03 a.m I received an email from Barack Obama that thanked me for my work.  He said this: "We just made history. All of this happened because you gave your time, talent, and passion to this campaign. All of this happened because of you".  Well, he is quite welcome. I sent him an email as well, that a Llasa Apso is the best dog for a family with small children. . . just a suggestion. . . during his speech thanking the American people for their support and hard work, the millions of volunteers, and letting them know he will live up to all that he promised to the best of his ability.  .  . "And to those whom support I have not earned, I have not earned your vote tonight, but I hear your voice and need your help. . . Our climb will be steep but we will get there. . .  I will listen to you especially when we disagree. . . This victory is not the change we seek, it is only the chance we need to make the change. . . Let's resist the urge to fall back on partisanship. Let's heal our divide. We are not enemies, but friends. This is our chance.  This is our time. Out of many, we are one. Yes we can". -- Barack Obama, November 4th, 2008, the 44th President Elect of the United States of America. 

A miracle?

Okay, many of you know that I suck at math.  I really have to work hard to get an "acceptable" grade on my tests.  Well, this last test I received the highest grade on the test. Yep, no kidding. Yea, me!

My last effort to convince anyone who has a conservative open mind. . .

In my view, Barack Obama is actually a moderate and conservative and Bush/McCain are the radicals.  Please let me explain.  The Bush Doctrine, which is a foreign affairs policy of  "bomb now, ask questions later" is a radical attitude. Surely Ronald Regan would have disagreed with this preemptive strike way of dealing with other countries. Barack Obama, in 2002 said this: "I know that a successful war against Iraq will require a US occupation of undetermined length, of undetermined cost and undetermined consequences. I know that an invasion of Iraq without a clear rationale and without international support will fan the flames of the Middle East, and encourage the worst, rather than the best impulses of the Arab world and strengthen the recruitment arm of al Qaeda. I'm not opposed to all wars, I am opposed to dumb wars." In 2002, some "conservatives" (including McCain) shared Bush's blindness to history, abstract theory of forcing democracy in a world where religious and cultural hate has been the the norm for centuries. This decision has cost thousands of lives both our peoples and Iraq innocents, and $700 billion dollars.  The current situation is that we are not safer from al Qaeda.  They are alive and well and recruiting just like Obama warned in 2002. So, I submit that Obama is what our country needs, not McCain.  We need common sense, we need to come together and work out our collective economic and foreign relations problems. I've been abroad twice since we waged war on terror.  I've heard people say that the US is just a bully. . .a bunch of teenagers who think they know everything and unwilling to make sacrifices for the good of the whole. Some may say that it doesn't matter what others think of us, but trust me, it does matter. We need allies. We are falling behind in technology, trade, infrastructure, health care, and our military is stretched very thin and you can't blame the democratic party for that. We have an opportunity now to fix our domestic and foreign broken policies. If you think Obama is too liberal, do some research before you vote.  If you think he is a socialist, do some research, objective research.  If you don't like him because he is black, well vote for the white part!  We need him right now!  We need his formal operational thinking, his ability to see an issue from all sides and the long term consequences.  We need his ability to unify for the better of all people.  We need his compassion.  We need his discipline and values.  He was asked recently: "Are you sorry now that you may win the election, the country is not in good shape?"  He said: "If a person is running to do some good and make a difference, now is the time to be President." I believe he means it.

Whoa! Don't step on that!

A pretty caterpillar that Sloan found just outside our back door.

Peter's Visit Last week.

This is Peter and I at dinner in Fredericksburg, TX.  We shared a steak and  a really amazing eggplant perogie.  During our weekend, we went to three wineries, tasted a lot of wines, and found a few that we liked at Grape Creek and Tierra de Pietra. On Saturday night, we drove to Kerrville and I took him to my beloved campus.  I showed him where I study, where my classes are located, etc. etc. He made fun of me big time but later remarked that he was happy that he now knows a great deal about my environs here in Kerrville. We had dinner with my brother and his girlfriend at Rails.  The weekend was very nice, I think. It took us one day to experience all that Kerrville has to offer. I don't know how I am going to lure him back. Hopefully my smiling face with be enough!

I find this Cartoon Hilarious!

Allow me to introduce you to my Algebra Professor, Dr. Sliva.

Five things I have learned from Dr. Sliva:

1. There is more than one way to divest the epidermis from a feline.

2. Adding and subtracting rational fractions makes Dr. Sliva feel warm and fuzzy.

3. Despite the rumors, he just knew I would show up to class.

4. Dr. Sliva has nothing against blondes, after all. . . he married one. 

5. He doesn't lie to us too much, so we should trust him. 

Sloan and I had our birthday celebration together this year.

Sloan and his girlfriend, Erin and Me and Natalie went to have dinner at Chez Nous in Austin. Then we went to Sixth Street to listen to some live bands. Fun night. 

I have Volunteered with Big Brothers and Big Sisters

If I'm going to be successful at counseling, I need to learn how children communicate, don't I? Also, I get tired of adults sometimes. . . Let me introduce you to my "Little" Brother, Alex.  He is nine years old. He wanted a Big Brother but after hearing about me, he thought I would be fun. Alex likes to play checkers and video games and wants to learn to rollerblade. I'm game. We have plans to go bowling this Thursday. This picture was taken on the day we met. (Photo posted with permission from his mom, who is a very nice lady).

Let's be careful.

McCain/Palin rallies have resulted in their supporters yelling: "Obama Bin Lyin", "Terrorist", "Off with his Head", "Kill Him" when Barack Obama's name is mentioned. Yet McCain does not correct or admonish his supporters.  This is dangerous!  And I am disappointed in McCain. On October 15, in front of 50,000,000 people, he could have done the right thing, instead he defended these supporters and trivialized the comments. I think his record has shown him to be a decent Senator, but just before this race and during, I think it is clear that he is willing to compromise his integrity to win this election. I think it is clear that the only negative ads Obama has aired are comparisons of their policies, not personal attacks, as opposed to McCain's ads.  Obama may not have a wealth of national experience, but I think he has shown that has good judgment and surrounds himself with those that do have experience. A president can not know everything, McCain certainly does not. Let's decide the election on the issues.  It is the smart way to decide, but if we are going to decide it on character, I think Obama has conducted himself above reproach during this campaign. You would not hear Obama saying that McCain cheated on his first wife and married a trophy wife with lots of money who funded his career. One could opine that it is true, but Obama will never stoop. The truth is that Obama has conducted his life more in keeping with "family values" than Palin or McCain. 

One more thing: If Obama were a white man with a "regular" name, this race would be a landslide in his favor. He is brilliant, compassionate, clear, honest, on the right side of the economy and the war (for most people, the polls show) the right religion, with Republican having control for 6 years straight and failing us miserably. Think about it. 

To Mel, Jay, Gloria, Marjorie:

HAPPY BOSS' DAY!!!!! MISS YOU!!!!!

Voting Update

 I was able to withdraw my registration in Texas.  I decided to vote in Nevada instead.  I know that my vote will count for more in Nevada, given that it is a swing state.  All the polls suggest Texas will vote for Republicans. Although I think that November 4th will prove to surprise many. 

And, I got the highest grade on the second Theories of Personality test. 

First Health Psych exam

I got the highest grade in the class. . . again. 

Happy Birthday to me.

This morning I was walking toward my math class and the VP of Schreiner University accosted me.  He just wanted to say Happy Birthday. 

I am registered to vote!

Schreiner held a Woman's Issue Forum last week wherein many issues of the day were discussed.  Representatives from both parties were present and the discussion was mostly intelligent and even handed. On my way in I registered to vote in Texas!  Can you guess who I am going to vote for on November 4th?

Road Trip!

Sloan and I went to Fredericksberg (a little town about 30 min. drive away) before school started.  Apparently Texas has a region known for some pretty good Cabernets and Pinot Noirs.  We had a great time.  This little town is super quaint and has several little wine shops with FREE wine tasting!  And I actually found a Merlot that drank like a Pinot.  Lea, can you believe that??  I tried about 7 different wines for free that day and paid $5.00 for a to-go cup. Just the right price for a school girl!  

Four Week Grades are Out!

Christian Theology            A

Critical Thinking               A-

Theories of Personality   A+

Exercise Science               A+

Health Psychology           A

Algebra Review                 B (won't be applied to GPA.  It's a review.)

Christian Theology

Today I got my results of the first exam in this class.  I got a 96%.  The exam was a difficult one and I studied/organized materials for 2 days.  It was definitely worth it. I am really enjoying the subject matter.  So far we have been studying the history of Christian Theology from before Christ was on the scene, through the patristic period, the reformation, the renaissance, post modern periods, and finally feminist and black theology.  How Aristotilian thinking, and the then fashionable Gnostic thinking influenced the way the patristic scholars interpreted scripture and how they answered such questions such as: "Does the spirit flow through the Father or through both the Father and the Son".  All protestant, catholic and orthodox doctrine is influenced by these decisions.  Super fascinating to me!  My instructor is a great orator and I am riveted from beginning to the end of each class.  A person who has spent some time in the Mormon church, served a mission, and actually read the Bible and other works has a good background for understanding these concepts and it is really very interesting to be able to fill in the gaps historically speaking.  However, one would really need to expand the mind in order to study this topic as a discipline, without making constant value judgments which cloud the ability to see the history in it context.

Results of my first exam. . .

Ladies and Gentlemen, the the results are in.  The grade that I received on my first exam in my Theories of the Personality class was 100%. Uh huh, I know that's right, suga!  I kid you not.  I missed 3 multiple choice questions and received the highest points on my essays.  The instructor gave each student 3 additional points because he wanted the curve to be reasonably fair.  He gave us essay questions that were more graduate school level than undergraduate.  Anyway, he awarded 3 A's and I got one of them.  I rock!

Girls' night Out. 9-12-08

These are two girls that I go to school with. Natalie is the one with dark hair.  She is a History Major.  I really dig her!  From San Clemente, a fiction writer, very deep and articulate.  She and I stick out like sore thumbs in this town with our liberal views and somewhat worldly experiences. 

Linda is the pretty skinny chick on the left.  She has four children and putting herself through school. Whew! I don't know where she finds the time.  She is a psychology major like myself.  This was the first time she has been out in this manner in over two years!  She really had a good time. We found a really quaint little restaurant where the professionals in the area dine.  "Rails".  Good wine selection.  When Peter comes for a visit next month, I will persuade him to take me there.  I think he'll enjoy it. 

Dinner was really good and someone had the brilliant idea to go to the "Inn of the Hills" lounge for some live music and drinks.  Good Hell!  It was so lame.  I don't even want to go in to detail about it because it would cause me to relive the experience and I lost 2 hours of my life already.  Suffice it to say that Kerrville is not the place for nightlife.  That's okay.  I'm not here for that anyway. When I want that I can make a trip to Vegas or Austin. 

Class Schedule Update

Well. . .I talked to several people on that first day of school that had to change their schedules 2 and 3 times and considered myself fortunate. . . until Tuesday when I appeared for my Research Methods class.  In that class I learned that the class was a statistics class. Oh hell!  I really need a background of college algebra first.  So I had to drop that class and take math instead.  So now my class schedule is this: Individualized Fitness, Algebra, Theories of the Personality, Health Psychology on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Christian Theology, Critical Thinking on Tuesday and Thursday.  So far, Theories of the personality (study of personality theorists like Freud, Rogers, Maslow, Adler, etc.) and Christian Theology are my favorite classes. Most of my professors are very interesting orators and all of them are serious about the work and attendance.  Today I am caught up on all of my classes and looking forward to the week.  I am enjoying my new environs, my new friends and my brother.  All is well. I'll post some new pictures next week.    

My first day of school.

My very first class of the very first day was super fun!  Exercise Science.  We will learn about proper nutrition, fitness and overall wellness.  Most of my classmates are adorable freshmen.  Most of them play soccer.  They are all very respectful in class and add a fun perspective.  Next week we will be evaluated for cardiovascular endurance, flexibility and muscular strength and later create a goal plan to improve our physical health.  How fun, right?  And I get credit for this! Funny story:  While walking out of class nearby four freshmen (probably 19 years old), one guy used the the "F" word and another boy said, "Well okay but you don't have to cuss, man."  The kids whose parents send them here are smart.  This place is safe and the faculty are kind and the caliber of students a bit more refined. If I had kids, I would encourage them to spend their first years away from home at this wonderful university.

My next class of the day was Personal Adjustment, a psychology elective.  In this class we will learn what healthy adjustment looks like and study maladaptive behaviors. Helpful for some who wants to be a counselor one day.  My professor is unique.  In a word, a duck.  Like me.  I totally dig her.  This will be a great class for me personally as well as for my future career.  

My last class is Theories of the Personality.  An upper division psychology class.  Since I clepped out of Intro to Psych, I get to get right down to some red meat.  This class is a study of the major Personality Theorists like: Maslow, Jung, Freud, to name a few. The professor gave us a list of works to read if we want that will prove valuable.  I like his style of teaching.  He is brilliant.  I hope to take as many classes from him as I can.  

I am loving my university experience so far.  Yesterday was a perfect day!  I love the classroom setting.  I love my beautiful campus.  Today is the very first day for 3 more classes.  I'll keep you posted, of course. 

In Mel's office. . .

Mel and me on my last day at Jones Vargas. Boo-hoo. I miss my boss!  

Sloan and Shawn on August 17th at the river front park.

Schreiner University

I love this place! So serene! Everyone is so nice. The grounds are beautiful. There are deer on the grounds that munch the grass as the students look on. Orientation on July 30th was wonderful. All the big wigs were there to greet us and they seemed so sincere in their message that the faculty truly care about the well-being of the students as well as their sucess. This place seems the absolute best environment for growth and learning. There's is a holistic approach to education. The mantra "Learning by Heart". I feel blessed and lucky to have been accepted.

Message for my best friend

Hi honey!  I can't thank you enough for all the wonderful ways you enrich my life. Don't forget to visit me.  Meet you in Austin any weekend you want.  The flowers on Daddy's grave are beautiful.  I miss you tons and I love you very much!!!!!

To Scott. . .

I wish we had more time to spend together while I was still in Vegas, but I have enjoyed our telephone conversations a great deal.  Thank you for being my last date in Vegas  . . . and for giving me that verbal spanking today. I needed it. You are a true gentleman and, dare I say it. . . cute as a bug's ear!

Leaving Las Vegas

Cathy! I miss you already. I thought I would miss Sushi but they have a place here in Kerrville. Whew!

Lea, Tami & Krystalle:

What a perfect way to close a chapter and begin another. That was a perfect day and night and morning. Lea, you are the hostess of the damn year, woman! I should leave Clark County everyday! Thank you ladies for that wonderful farewell sleepover! Thanks for your calls to check on me. I miss you guys so much. I'll be calling ya'll soon.

Very First Blog Entry

Hello All!

This is my first attempt at blogging. This blog is created to provide all friends and family the opportunity to catch up with me any time they want, given the two hour time difference, it's hard to get together on the phone. Hopefully I can capture a comprehensive view with pictures and stories of my adventures in Kerrville Texas, and my Schreiner University experience. I'll try to update this blog weekly provided school doesn't kill me.

Thanks to everyone who has supported me in this endeavor with money, cards, books, support, (my new mac), hugs, advice, and love, love love! I miss you all.