Disappointed. . .

I am very disappointed in the Dems (not all but too many) in the House and Senate.  The Republican's have some good ideas too. The Dems are not making much of an effort to create an atmosphere for compromise. I'm sure the Republican's did the same thing to them during the first 6 years of Bush 43's time in office. But, this is no time for schoolyard antics! We have 4.8 million people out of work!  In my view, during the debate next week in the Senate, each spending item should be put the these two questions: 1. Will it create jobs? (both in government and private sector); 2. Will it save money within a reasonable about of time? The Dems should defend their spending preferences regardless of the fact that they have the numbers.  If it is determined "yes" to both questions, leave it in.  If not, take it out.  Other bills can be drafted for the other pet projects.  I don't think that pet projects are a bad thing, I just think they don't belong in a "stimulus package".  

I am also disappointed in the Republicans.  Haven't we learned that tax cuts alone won't repair the roads, or put people to work, or fix the problems in the schools?  It sounds like a great idea on the surface but it has not been sufficient.  It's time to to listen to other options, and economists suggests a stimulus. Immediately.  

I checked out Obama's goals for the package, which his economists, some independent and some advisors to Republicans,  have recommended.  It's pretty straight forward.  It makes sense. The Dems created a 600 page bill out of this.  I'm not sure that all of it should be there. Perhaps this bill isn't exactly "good faith" in my book. Broadly speaking, "It is the right size, scope and has the right priorities to create 3-4 million jobs, fixing schools, modernizing health care, fix infrastructure, and move towards energy independence". Let's pray that our public servants get out of their own way and do the admirable thing and get the stimulus program done!

If the Dems handle things in a more  straight forward manner and the Republicans still won't vote for the bill, then the American people will know which party are the trouble makers.  For now, I am inclined to believe it is both parties.  I wish they would take a page out of Obama's rule book and show respect, look for common ground, and learn how to disagree without being disagreeable. We have 4.8 million out of jobs!  It's time to act.  If they get bogged down and drag their feet, it could get worse.  

An auspicious coincidence. . .

Three days ago, I wrote our President (I just love saying that) a quick note on whitehouse.gov.  I was concerned about Citigroup's acquisition of a $50m jet, after having asked the tax payers for a bailout.  I asked him to address this immoral and disgraceful waste of our tax dollars.  Well, 24 hours later, he had Geithner call Citigroup and they did not take possession of jet.  Then 24 hours later, he made a statement wherein he called high level corporate bonuses "shameful" and "the height of irresponsibility.  I know, my email probably had nothing to do with his speaking out.  That is just the way he rolls.  

Hooray!!!!

I just have to say: The world needs more Lily Ledbetters. Personally, she will not recover what she lost, but she brought us closer to the reality of equal pay. 

My First Power Point Presentation

If you can believe it, I have never had the occasion to learn to use the program until now.  I just finished a project for my Aesthetic Experience class.  I thought about bringing in my sculpture that Sandy gave me, that I really love but did not feel like I was knowledgeable enough about its origin or creation.  I decided on Klimt, of course.  What fun!  

On Feminism

Many people may be shocked by this statement: "I do not consider myself a feminist."  I consider myself a decent, capable, well-intentioned person. . . who happens to be a woman. Ladies, in our quest for equality in all facets of life, perhaps we missed something.  The Feminist movement has done some damage to us and to our male counterparts.  We've been a little overzealous, perhaps. I wish that we could have done a better job in appreciating those men who did their best to hear us and respect us as we  fought to "come a long way, baby". 

In the U.S.,  it is still very true that the glass ceiling still exists, equal pay is not yet a reality, medical progress has been ridiculously slow on women's health issues. It took us too damn long to get the vote, many still believe we are the lesser sex and that we are not capable of a higher level of logical reasoning as men are. Women throughout time that have contributed to art, literary works, science, higher thought have been ignored and left out of those respective clubs.  The playing field is not yet level.  I agree that we have been marginalized, ignored.  But I believe that there have been and there are men out there who realize this, and respect our minds and accomplishments. 

Do the above injustices give women the right to exploit men? I know women who have used their sexual currency to manipulate men.  Women have been guilty of tearing down another woman for their success or happiness.  Aren't these things just as ugly?  Should Hillary Clinton have won the presidency?  Some say yes because women are owed that.  I say that that notion is sexist.  Success or opportunity should be based on merit, not gender.  

As women, I think we should come together and support each other.  Be happy for each others successes and share the joy that womanhood has to offer us.  Act as though we respect our femaleness. Let's not live up to the bitch stereotype.  We know how to ask for what we want assertively, without pouting, without manipulations, and without anger, don't we? We can be our best selves while encouraging the best in men, can't we?  We need to stop feeling marginalized and invisible.  We can respectfully disagree. Articulate our brilliant thoughts.  There will be no battle of the sexes if we are not battling.  For me, I have learned that there is no need to battle.  Men who like strong women will let me know by furthering the conversation.  Men who are not interested in having a conversation with an articulate woman will fade into the scenery.  It has always been my skills that have gotten me raises in the workplace, not my pretty face.  

The simple truth is, when women have progressed, men have too.  If we as a people are going to get to the next level of "goodness", we will get there together.  

Personally, I think we have had a punishing attitude for far too long. We've had good reasons yet we do not. We change the rules of relating about every five years or so.  Chivalry was good, then it wasn't, now it is again, for some.  Condescension is sometimes mistaken for compassion. If we could, men and women, look beyond the game we play and its complicated ever changing rules, and the facades we painstakingly create for the other sex. . . to the real intentions, we would be so much further along this path.  So the next time a man opens the door for you, graciously thank him.  And if you get the chance, thank his mama, too. 

Deep down isn't everyone basically shallow?

For most of my adult life I have considered myself to be a really deep person.  But, isn't "putting on heirs" in reference to my own depth just me being self important?  And isn't that pretty shallow?  Don't we all have a vice?  Who doesn't engage in some form of naughty/guilty pleasure? Whether it be chocolate, alcohol, gossip, another slice of pizza (over-eating), complaining,  marijuana, trashy novels, judging our fellow church goers or anyone else, shopping for things we don't need, a lap dance, mocha with an extra shot of espresso, late night cable TV, blaming the other political party for our nations problems, bible bashing, diet coke, giving unwanted advice, refusing to view all sides of an issue, feeling superior to another because of race, gender or any other reason, playing the martyr, or otherwise using anything or anyone to avoid personal responsibility or allowing any behavior to become a compulsion.  . . (whew!)

But alas, we all put value judgments on the above vices. Some are okay and others are not.  For one over-eating is alright but marijuana is a big no-no.  For another, judging others is okay even though Jesus taught us not to, but drinking wine is totally not okay, even though Jesus did in moderation. We judge harshly those that we perceive as having vices but don't see our own. Or we justify ours because it's "not that bad". 

 I think we miss some goodness in life and others when we focus on the thick of thin things. And if we are doing all we think we are supposed to do, we think we have the right to judge another as not doing enough.  And in that judgment, we miss the point completely. 

Let's face it.  We, all of us, to a degree are shallow and succumb to human limitations and hungers. I have actually been surprised and let down in my life to learn of a loved one's bigotry and small mindedness.  There is a lesson for me to learn here. People don't belong on pedestals. Pedestals are for the representation of an ideal. So. . . let's first train ourselves to look upon others with Christ-like compassion and acceptance for we all can be selfish and weak and shallow, and we can all be brilliant and kind and well intentioned.  I'll be first, I am capable of great depth but not above the shallow.

2008 look back-A Mixed Bag.

I will attempt to delineate here the 10 best and worst experiences of 2008 for me, personally.

First, the worst: 

1.   The moves. I moved 3 times in 6 months. I read somewhere that moving was one of the most stressful experiences.

2.   The most painful and destructive relationship of my life happened in 2008. Of course, a result of a series of bad choices on my part got the thing rolling. I had never before been treated with so little respect. But its DEMISE can be said to be one of the BEST things that happened in 2008 too, depending on how you view it.  So, here lies Capt. Parasite. Rest In Peace.

3.   I allowed my biological mother in my life after a 10 year absence for a very brief year.  In the end, I learned for good what I always knew, that I mean nothing to her. Her only interest was to manipulate me into spending my resources to keep her from dealing with the horror that has become her life. It has been painful to accept in some ways but very liberating too to learn that I did my part to heal our relationship, and consequently I feel NO remorse for choosing to sever all ties, as if she had been someone who cared for my well-being. In the end, I chose me, my education, my peace, my sanity and to value my needs. . . And in the end I chose not to be codependent. And that is a very very good thing, a "skip through the meadow" kind of good.  So. . .here also lies Leslie too, I wish her well and a final farewell. Rest In Peace. 

4.  I left a job that I loved and a boss that I love even more. 

5.   Moving was hard also because of all of the friends and family that I miss and don't get to see and talk too often enough. 

6.  Moving has left me feeling isolated occasionally, but not very often as I enjoy spending quality time with myself. 

7.  Okay,  I honestly can not think of anything else that was bad in 2008.

Now the best stuff of 2008:

1.    As I wrote above, ending the connection with Capt. Parasite.

2.   As I wrote above, severing all ties with Leslie.

3.    Going back to school.  My college experience last semester was every bit as wonderful as I had hoped it would be.  I thoroughly enjoy learning, the classroom experience, the interesting material, the environment of campus life, all of it. . . wonderful.

4.    This blog.  It has been a great experience for me. I am grateful for those that check on my comings and goings so that we can remain connected.

5.    The many conversations that I have had with Kami. I cherish her.

6.    The uplifting talks that Jeannine and I have shared. She was there to kick my butt when I needed it. 

7.     The new friends I have made here in Kerrville: Amy (pretty lil' five-foot nothin', good hearted, compassionate, and smart.  Believes that the simple life is where its at!; Linda (patient and kind mother, sweet Southern talkin' beauty); Carey (smart, lover of Taco Casa tacos, witty, Lord lovin' cutie); Fred (chivalrous, debonaire, VeeP, cufflink wearin' Obama fanatic); Amie (romantic, thoughtful mother, coffee addict, history lovin', metaphor writin', babe); Tracy (more real than real, kindred spirit, open-minded, law studyin', light in the loafers, Obamanite).  

8.    Alex, my little, and my time with him.  And his little sister, Lilianna.  Very sweet and special children. 

9.    The three months I spent staying with Peter before the move. It was nice hanging out and having dinner and all of our talks about life, school, Obama, family, and how nicely we worked out.

10.     The election!  I feel that our electing Barack Obama has elevated us as a people.  We are starting to get past the notion that a race, gender, or class is more entitled (to opportunities, freedom, and a healthy life) than another.  Barack Obama ran a campaign with intelligence and dignity and he deserved to win. I am grateful for any part that I took in it. It feels like a movement.  It feels like we as a nation are moving . . . forward to a better place.  

My last night in Vegas

I had so much fun on this trip that I had to just end it in a more relaxed manner.  I had dinner with Cathy (but we forgot to take a picture) and then the last night with Lea (picture attached)  at one of my favorite places, Baba Reeba (tapas).  I was introduced to a new favorite red, Grotto Shiraz from Australia, very smooth with a hint of dark chocolate. Truly, visiting Vegas is a lot more fun than living there!  See you in the summer, my friends.

New Years' Eve

I made my way to Tami and Paula's place around 8:00. We had some champagne and chocolate covered strawberries. We took some photos and made our way to Jay and Stacie's house for their little soiree. At 11:30 the three of us and Jay and Stacie went to Red Rock Hotel and found a spot at the downstairs circle bar where we celebrated the new year. Jay kissed all of us girls (lucky dawg) and the bartenders handed out free champagne.  We took these super hot pics there.  We finally got back to Tami's at 3:30.  I had so much fun!  We partied like rockstars! 

Night out with Jason Markle and his friend, Liz

We went to Aliante Station to see Yellow Brick Road, an 80's Rock cover band.  They were very good. The lead singer had lots of personality.  We danced to Jesse's Girl and Pour Some Sugar on Me.  I love live music!!!!!! That is something Daddy gave me.  Sloan would have really liked this night. He is getting to be a pretty good guitar player. 

I really enjoyed meeting Liz and her husband.  They were really nice and fun.  Thanks Jay for introducing us.  Miss you man!

Jeannine Abel and Me

Jeannine and I spent an entire day together cooking, playing games and just being.  I love her to death.  We are seeking the same degree. She wants to work in addiction recovery.  Kudos to her!  She has more compassion than me.  Jeannine is a wonderful cook, wonderful friend, and her son Skylar is so damn cool, I want to kidnap him!  I must add here that this picture is utterly horrible, but until another kinder picture exists, this one goes up.

Peter and Mike Bellon

Peter and Mike had a long standing Christmas Eve (boys' night) planned.  Since I was in town, they invited me along.  We saw a flick and went to T-Bones for some champagne, crab, steak, and a chocolate dessert. These boys know how to celebrate! Of course we saw some friends, Tom Rojas and his super sweet and pretty long time girlfriend, Allison. It's always fun hangin' with these guys. Chivalry and Class, all the way!

Christmas Holiday Trip to Las Vegas - Part 2

These three pics are from the Jolley Christmas Program 2008.  I love being a part of this wonderful "jolley" family!

Picture 1: MacKay's singing hymn for program. Left to Right: Davis, Kevin, Jesse, Lisa, Dawn, Sid, Jason, Shawna and Shannon with baby Mylie.

Picture 2: Me and Drew (cousin) with baby Mylie, Sharie's daughter.

Picture 3: Jennifer, Me and Melissa (Vance's wife and Max's mom).

Picture 4: Andrew, with Vance's boy Max, Vance (in the Christmas tree shirt, hilarious!), Erin, Amanda and Me.

Picture: 5: Me and Erin (second cousin).

It was a Jolley-Good-Time!!!!!

Christmas Holiday Trip to Las Vegas - Part 1

Kristalle Herda invited me over for Christmas dinner with her family.  The Herda family is wonderful. So warm and accepting. I enjoyed that evening so much.  We drank wine and played games and laughed at each other and ourselves till well past midnight. I hope to be invited next year!  

Spring 2009 Line-up

College Algebra.  I hear Jimenez is a really good instructor. Of course, no one could ever hold a candle to Dr. Sliva!! 

Aesthetic Experience.  Prof. Harris, I understand, is a real Renaissance Man. He writes plays, fiction, music, can play an instrument.  I am not sure exactly what one studies in this class. Beauty?  What are commonly held notions and elements of things that are beautiful? It is an interdisciplinary studies class, one that is unique to Schreiner. 

World Literature from the Renaissance Period to Present.  I understand Hannay is the best professor that teaches this class.  I guess I will be reading and writing and writing about what I read.  Sounds like FUN to me.  

Cognitive Psychology. (The study of how we learn).  I believe this will be helpful in many ways.  Prof. Biel, the professor I had for Health Psychology will be my professor.  He is one of my faves.

Psychology of Personality: Research Approaches.  In this class we will study personality traits.  This I am sure will be very interesting to me. And I really dig the professor.

Politics and the Media. I have no need to take this class at all. I do not need it for my major and I have 102 elective hours already.  I just feel a need to learn about this subject.  I want to understand how the media spins the information and how to get to the reality behind the spin, if that is possible. The professor, as I understand it, is a diehard republican.  Now this should be interesting.  I fully intend to "stir it up" in this class.  Not to worry. I will collect no grade so I won't feel the need to feign agreement with the professors views.